Processing Jelly

My solitary jalapeno plant has yielded a bumper crop this season and I'm going to try to make jelly. For this experiment I will be using the Ball Jar Co. formula. Four ingredients and 13 steps.

10:00 AM - Lollygaggers are improvisers. I don't have all the equipment I need for processing jalapeno jelly. My dilemma is what to do with the Southern Comfort slush occupying the large pan I will need for the hot water bath the filled jelly jars are looking forward to. Time for a break!

I did purchase rubber gloves and a jar grabber. These tools proved to be VERY important pieces of equipment.

11:00 AM - I'm chopping peppers and listening to Ronnie Kaye and "Diamond Girl". I recently re-discovered KOMA radio. I have school morning memories of my Mom fixing breakfast and listening to Danny Williams. She was not a lollygagger. She was fluffed and buffed before her family made an appearance in the morning. Way to go, Marjorie!

11:10 AM - Dear Ball Jar Company, please add a Step 14. Recommend wearing swim goggles and snorkel in preparation for the chemical reaction caused by the addition of apple cider vinegar to chopped jalapeno peppers. Wow, six cups is a lot of sugar. I'll bet my putter this pan will not be big enough.

11:45 AM - I had to switch pans, the spoon is sticky, the vent hood is roaring and my back aches. I'm trying to keep the jars and lids warm as recommended. I'm using a cake pan with a little water which is either powerful improvising or a potential lollygagger accident. All the fans in the house are buzzing and the smell of vinegar is in the air. Paul McCartney and Wings (liked him better as a Beetle) are singing and I am stirring. We have hard boil and counting down to 10 minutes to jar fill.

11:50 AM - The highly recommended liquid form of Pectin has been added and I'm stirring and boiling for one more minute. Now I'm worried my jars won't be hot enough and they will crack when I pour this green, snotty (sorry) looking stuff into them. It will leak down the cabinets and onto the floor and into the grout between all the tile. Our house has loads of tile. I could be faced with rivers of green grout in the event of such a disaster. Beginning to fill stressed. I thought lab work would be slow and boring.

12:00 AM - Six warm jars are filled to within 1/4 inch of their shelf life with jalapeno formula. The lids are in place and jar rims have been applied and adjusted until fingertip tight. They are placed in my make-shift jacuzzi of a processor and will be at soft boil under cover for 10 minutes. I'm dreading using my new jar grabber for retrieval. Directions caution one to REMOVE jars from the canner, set upright on a towel to cool, UNDISTURBED for 12 to 24 hours.

12:15 AM- I'm at the end of processing and there are six hot intact jars popping happily on my kitchen counter. I salute all my female ancestors who preserved home grown food for the people they loved. They were not allowed the luxury of being a lollygagger. If the results of this experiment produce lids without give, the family gets jalapeno jelly for Christmas. If there is give in the lid, we've got three weeks to eat this stuff up. As for future peppers - I see potential wall art.